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School readiness secrets: what experts say every child should know before starting reception

School readiness secrets: what experts say every child should know before starting reception

From toilet training to turn-taking, here’s what counts for Reception readiness – and what you can skip.

Four year old girl with plaits and blue check dress holds a handwritten chalkboard sign that says, "First Day of School".

Serafina Kenny

Published: July 14, 2026 at 9:32 AM

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If your child is starting reception soon, you might be dealing with a lot of nerves, worries, and excitement — and that’s just from you! But although it’s a big new step, it doesn’t have to be a scary one for you or your child.

The idea of ‘school readiness’ can be intimidating, because children develop skills at different paces, and some children will be almost a whole year younger than others in their class. But whether your little one is barely out of pull-ups or can count to 50, there are things you can do to help them be as prepared and confident ahead of their first day at school.

We spoke to Felicity Gillespie, Chief Executive of Kindred², a charity focused on early years development, and Samantha Hayhurst, Head of Marketing at Learning Resources, about all the things you can do over summer to help your child get ready to start reception.

What should a child be able to do before they start reception?

Student raising hand in classroom

“Every child is different and day one of Reception isn’t a pass or fail based on a fixed measure of ‘readiness’,” Felicity Gillespie says. “Starting school is simply a new stage in your child’s learning journey that began before birth. The goal is for your child to enjoy this next learning adventure.”

“Children learn differently and at different paces, but it’s helpful to know the sorts of skills and behaviours to support your child in developing at different stages.”

Kindred² is part of a group of early years organisations which has agreed, in conjunction with the government, on a set of key life skills that schools hope children will develop before their first day. You can find these skills and behaviours at www.startingreception.co.uk.

You can also download Learning Resources' Big School Ready Guide, endorsed by Primary teacher and author Kit Brown, and developed to support both parents and teachers as children navigate the beginning of their school journey.

Or if you'd prefer to watch some practical guides online, there are some brilliant short and easy-to-follow clips from Learning Resources on YouTube:

“We have developed a series of Little Lessons with primary school teacher and influencer @mrhallahan, who shares invaluable tips and fun ideas for parents in these weekly sessions, broken into the key areas of Getting Big School Ready," says Samantha Hayhurst.

Key skills to develop before school starts:

Taking care of themselves independently — e.g. using the toilet by themselves, being okay with spending time away from parents, getting dressed

Play and creativity — e.g. imaginative play, drawing and sticking, engaging with story books

Building relationships — e.g. taking turns and sharing, talking about their feelings, recognising what others are feeling

Communicating and listening — e.g. talking to others, recognising their name (on labels, for example), listening and paying attention for short periods, following simple instructions

Physical development — e.g. being able to be active for three hours a day, walking up and down steps, running, catching a large ball, doing crafts

Healthy routines — e.g. waking up and getting ready for school, trying new foods, limiting screen time to healthy amounts

Children are wired to learn through play and providing them with the tools to develop these life skills will prove more beneficial than drilling them with instructions.

Samantha Hayhurst, Learning Resources

“Learning about spending time away from you and being looked after by other caring adults will help to build confidence. Practising paying attention for short periods, sticking with a task even when it’s tricky, and bouncing back if things go wrong are the sorts of skills that will help your child thrive,” Felicity says.

However parents don't need to panic and think they have to spend the whole summer teaching set skills to their child. Many important school readiness skills are learned holistically through play.

“Children are wired to learn through play and providing them with the tools to develop these life skills will prove more beneficial than drilling them with instructions which can often make them feel pressured and less inclined to learn,” says Samantha Hayhurst from Learning Resources. “Unstructured, open-ended play will help them develop key social skills and self-confidence.

“Practising routines through play is also a great way to avoid stress – playing ‘school’ is a brilliant activity and kids will love learning how to take turns, write their name, put their coat on etc.”

Why is school-readiness so important?

A little girl sits on the floor. She is wearing a school uniform dress. She pulls on a pair of black patent school shoes.

“Having the ability to dress themselves, feed themselves, use the toilet and follow basic instructions will help them to be able to take full advantage of the opportunities that Reception class has to offer,” Felicity says.

It's important for their confidence and to help them settle in happily as well.

“Practising independence in key areas will help children feel more confident as they become more self-reliant," says Samantha. "Dressing skills, getting used to holding a pencil etc will all help children feel confident and capable."

And being school ready also has benefits for the whole class.

“Unless they are diagnosed with medical needs, no child should be starting school in nappies. If a child is still in nappies when they start school, it’s not just their learning that is interrupted for nappy changes. With two members of staff required to attend every nappy change, it’s also hugely disruptive to all the other children,” Felicity says.

Plus, “early gaps in learning often widen over time,” so making sure your child is best placed to start school will have resounding effects all throughout their education and later life.

Schools teach the academic side of problem-solving while parents teach the real-world application of it through everyday challenges.

Felicity Gillespie, Kindred²

Schools and parents are in a “vital partnership,” she says, to help children develop, where schools look after structured learning and teach the foundational elements of the national curriculum and where parents look after children’s wellbeing and development outside of academics.

“It’s crucial to underline that parents are the first educators, the ones who model and reinforce behaviours daily. For example, schools teach the academic side of problem-solving while parents teach the real-world application of it through everyday challenges,” Felicity says.

And there are benefits that reach outside of the classroom. Felicity says that research[1] shows that the more children who are school ready before starting reception, the lower the costs of education, health, welfare and the justice system in later years.

“Every pound we put into the early years of child development helps give every child the best start but also saves the taxpayer an estimated thirteen pounds in reduced need for state interventions later in life,” she says.

“We know that children from disadvantaged backgrounds are often less likely to be school-ready, so the target is also aiming to reduce inequality.”

What happens if a child can’t do these things before they start school?

“We understand that all children develop at their own pace and that we’re all learning from birth. Schools will continue to meet the needs of children at whatever point they are in their development across the areas of building independence, relationships, communication and physical development,” Felicity says.

“Your child will be meeting lots of new people and making new friends. So, having the speaking and listening skills to help them build relationships and express their feelings will help them make the transition more easily and with confidence.”

“Of course, if your child has developmental delays of SEND (suspected or confirmed) you should speak to their nursery, childminder, or health visitor well before they start reception and discuss their needs when you are selecting schools,” she says.

Don’t stress about more advanced skills

Girl writing a card

You can help your child with more advanced skills, like reading and writing, if they seem ready and you have the resources — but you don’t need to worry about as they will be taught in school.

“It’s really important not to feel pressured into trying to develop skills that they absolutely don’t need at this stage!” Felicity says.

“Whilst it’s helpful if they can recognise the shape of their name on a coat peg, for instance, nobody will expect them to know all their letters!”

Samantha agrees that reading and writing isn't something parents need to worry about, but supporting an early understanding of letters and nurturing a love of reading can help.

“Reading to your child and them recognising print is a wonderful way to nurture a love of learning and excitement ahead of starting school," she says. “Encouraging them to share stories and to role play will foster their creativity, imagination and of course vocabulary, all essentials for learning to read and write. Playing with toys that develop fine motor skills will also help them when it comes to writing and drawing.”

What can parents do to help their child before they start school?

“The simplest things can make such a difference,” Felicity says.

Here are some things you can do to help your child tick off the list of school-ready requirements:

Build their communication skills by chatting to your child as you go about your day and giving them space to speak back.
Support them to be more independent in getting dressed and putting their coat and shoes on.
Encourage them to use cutlery to eat.
Help them learn to make deliberate marks like lines and circles with a crayon.
Strengthen their grip with cutting and sticking activities.
Help them to recognise the shape of their name on a coat peg (even if they can’t actually read it properly yet).
Build their confidence without you by leaving them to be cared for by others.
Encourage them to be able to play on their own and with other children.

“Talking about their feelings is also key to letting your child know that it is okay to feel all sorts of emotions," says Samantha. “Helping them to recognise that there are lots of big feelings and identifying them will help to build self-confidence and the ability to manage emotions.”

And here are things you can do directly ahead of your child starting reception to ease the transition:

Talk through the school day — tell your child about the day’s structure and the name of their teacher, and describe what playtime, circle time, and lunchtime are. You might need to describe the hands up rule, too, in case your child hasn’t come across it in nursery or elsewhere. You could also describe what you felt when you started school to reduce their nerves.
If possible, try a run-through of a school morning, including getting up early, eating breakfast, and commuting to school before the big day, so kids know what to expect. If a full run-through isn’t realistic, practising just the journey to school can help, whether that’s a walk or bus ride to school, or driving past the building and figuring out parking spots.
Read books and watch TV programmes about the first day of school. Kids might feel reassured by watching their favourite characters feeling the same things as them — and hopefully ultimately having a good first day!
Make sure your kids know their full names. If you tend to call your child by a nickname, make sure they know what their official name (that will appear on a register) is. And make sure they know their surname in case there is another child in their class with the same first name.
Try the uniform on and practice wearing it for a while. Uniforms can feel unfamiliar to children used to wearing jeans or joggers all day, and there might be sensory issues that you will want to try to address before the stressful morning of the first day. So, get your child to try on their uniform and tell you how it feels. They can also practice getting changed in and out of their PE kit with you, so they know what to do when it comes to the real thing.
In a similar vein, make sure your child is used to wearing a backpack, and can comfortably carry what they need to take to school in it. If it’s too heavy, consider a smaller water bottle, or bringing a separate bag that they can carry in their hands.
Make sure they can go to the toilet, wipe, flush, and wash their hands by themselves.
If your child is an only child, hasn’t gone to nursery, or doesn’t come into contact with other children much, try to increase their interactions with other kids in the run up to starting school. This will make suddenly being in a class of up to 30 children less overwhelming.

“If you are stuck or worried or unsure, the most important thing is to reach out to your Family Hub, health visitor, nursery or childminder, or GP quickly. Parenting can sometimes feel lonely, so it’s good to speak to local groups and services for support,” Felicity says.

It's never too early to start thinking about school readiness

Father reading book to son at home. Cute boy sitting with father in bedroom.

“For parents of younger children, don’t wait until your child turns three” to start thinking about these things, Felicity says. “Every interaction is impactful right from birth.”

Here are some things you can start doing early with your children to help their development and make the transition to reception easier, whenever it comes:

Look at story books together and talk about them
Sing nursery rhymes to and with them
Encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling and why
Get outside when you can to play or just kick a ball about

“There’s so much great guidance and ideas for fun games and things to try at home – look for the links to resources from organisations like Parentkind, the NHS and the BBC, and tips on skills like potty training from national experts at startingreception.co.uk,” Felicity says.

References:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a80a5bb40f0b62305b8c59e/School_readiness_10_Sep_15.pdf

About our experts Felicity Gillespie is the Chief Executive of Kindred2, a UK private foundation focused on improving the quality of early childhood development. Kindred2 funds research and runs programmes in collaboration with a wide range of UK public, private and third sector organisations. Felicity has been an Advisor to the UK Department for Education since 2011 and the lead specialist Academy Governance Advisor for six years. She is on the board of Ofsted, responsible for the inspection of services providing education and skills for learners of all ages. Samantha Hayhurst is Head of Marketing at Learning Resources, an award-winning, family-owned company that manufactures hands-on educational toys and classroom teaching supplies for children ages 18 months and older. Samantha has previously held roles at The LEGO Group and Boots.

Authors

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Serafina KennyDigital Journalist

Serafina Kenny is a Digital Journalist at MadeForMums. She writes news and features and has expertise in health, nutrition, relationships, and history. She has previously written for Business Insider, Women's Health, Stylist, Men's Health US, The i Paper, Dazed, and more. You can contact her with tips and story ideas (or compliments!) at serafina.kenny@immediate.co.uk.