Grey divorce is becoming more common - but why are more couples are divorcing after 20 years of marriage?

More than a quarter of divorces in England and Wales followed 20 years or more of marriage, with experts pointing to children leaving home and financial factors.

Mature woman with her back to her husband on sofa in the living room.

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Published: October 19, 2026 at 3:58 PM

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The idea of the “seven-year itch” could be becoming a thing of the past, as new figures reveal that couples in England and Wales are now more likely to divorce after 20 years of marriage than at any other point.

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Office for National Statistics (ONS) data shows that 26% of opposite-sex divorces in 2025 involved couples who had been married for at least two decades. That's more than the 23% who divorced after five to nine years of marriage, which is the point traditionally seen as when the honeymoon period wears off.

For parents, the findings raise questions about how relationships change over time, particularly when children grow up and leave home, and couples find themselves facing a new chapter together.

Why are more couples divorcing after 20 years?

Of the 102,879 opposite-sex divorces recorded in England and Wales in 2025, 27,180 involved couples who had been married for 20 years or longer.

Meanwhile, 24,052 couples divorced after five to nine years of marriage, while 22,197 had been married for between 10 and 14 years.

Since records began in 1963, the five-to-nine-year category has almost always accounted for the largest proportion of divorces. The latest figures mark a shift away from the familiar seven-year itch towards what experts have described as a “longer itch”.

One possible explanation is that some couples choose to remain together while their children are growing up, only to reconsider their relationship once family life changes.

Lisa Pepper, a divorce lawyer at Osbornes Law, told the Sunday Times: “I’d say the largest percentage of cases I see are after a long marriage. Staying together for the sake of the children is true.”

She explained that practical considerations can also play a part, with couples potentially reaching a point in life when separating becomes more financially manageable.

“It’s also about affordability: being at a stage in life where sufficient wealth has been accumulated to have two homes and small or no mortgages, and pension funds large enough to be able to share them fairly and both have a good standard of living.”

How can children leaving home affect a relationship?

When children leave home, whether to go to university or start independent lives, family dynamics can change significantly.

For some couples, this transition may bring greater freedom to reassess their relationship. Without the day-to-day responsibilities of raising children, issues that have been put aside for years can become harder to ignore.

Jeremy Todd, managing director of Coram Family Lives, a national free helpline for families in crisis, said that the end of shared parenting can expose difficulties that have been present for a long time.

“Parents stay together for the sake of the children. Often empty-nest syndrome is the big reveal that there’s nothing really that’s keeping the couple together once their shared parenting has gone.”

Drawing on his 18 years at the helpline, Todd said poor communication and unresolved tensions were consistent reasons for couples breaking up after long marriages.

“Obviously, if all you’re left with is the tumbleweed of all the issues that remain unresolved, then it’s unlikely that over time that’s going to sustain you,” he said.

Could the cost of divorce be keeping couples together?

Financial pressures may also influence when couples decide to separate.

Professor Emma Hitchings, an academic at the University of Bristol who led a national study into the financial arrangements of divorcing couples between 2021 and 2025, said there were several possible explanations for the changing pattern.

We are moving away from the seven-year itch to the longer itch.

Professor Emma Hitchings, an academic at Bristol University

She suggested that people marrying later in life might be more inclined to try to make a relationship work for longer before deciding to divorce. The cost of separation could also be a factor.

Legal aid for private family matters, except cases involving domestic abuse, was cut in 2013, making it harder for some people to access publicly funded legal advice during a divorce.

Hitchings said this could influence couples who are already uncertain about whether to separate.

“It may lead to people thinking, ‘I’ll just try to work on the marriage a little bit longer, if I can’t get any legal advice,’” she said.

The financial implications can extend beyond legal fees, too. Establishing and maintaining two households can be particularly challenging when mortgage costs, everyday bills and other living expenses are high.

What is grey divorce?

The term “grey divorce” describes couples who separate later in life, often after decades of marriage. The trend is not limited to the UK, with longer marriages ending in divorce also attracting attention in the US and Japan.

High-profile separations have brought the subject into the spotlight, including Tess Daly and Vernon Kay, who announced their separation earlier this year after 22 years of marriage, and actor Hugh Bonneville, who split from Lulu Williams in 2023 after 25 years together. Colin Firth and Livia Giuggioli also announced their separation in 2019 after 22 years of marriage.

While celebrity break-ups can prompt conversations about long-term relationships, the figures offer a broader picture of how marriage and divorce are changing.

ONS data also shows that the average marriage ending in divorce in England and Wales lasted 13 years in 2025, the longest duration since records began in 1963.

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The figures do not explain why individual couples separate, and a long marriage ending in divorce does not necessarily mean a relationship has failed. But they do highlight how the pressures and priorities facing couples can evolve over decades, particularly as children grow up and family life enters a new phase.

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