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Exhausted but still wired? 4 signs your body is stuck in ‘high alert’ as a mum

Exhausted but still wired? 4 signs your body is stuck in ‘high alert’ as a mum

Feeling exhausted but unable to switch off? A self-development coach explains four signs your body could be stuck in high alert.

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Serafina Kenny

Published: October 12, 2026 at 10:00 AM

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You finally get your baby to sleep. The house is quiet, you have a rare moment to yourself, so why can’t you switch off?

If you feel exhausted but still wired, overwhelmed by things that normally wouldn’t bother you, or unable to properly relax even when you get the chance, your body could be telling you something.

Self-development coach Georgia Devon-Shelley, founder of Mother.fm, a postnatal audio platform dedicated to mothers’ wellbeing, says the demands of parenthood can leave us spending much of the day in a heightened state of stress.

And while feeling stressed is an understandable part of life with young children, learning to recognise when your body is stuck in that state, and finding ways to help it come back down, could be an important part of looking after your own wellbeing.

Georgia knows a thing or two about coming down from high-pressure situations. Before becoming a mum herself, she coached pop stars on how to wind down after high-adrenaline performances and cope with the demands of long tours.

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Now, she says some of the techniques she used with performers can also help parents dealing with the very different, but often relentless, demands of everyday family life.

“Mothers and pop stars are very, very similar – in what's expected of us and the demands to our nervous system and adrenaline,” Georgia says.

So, what might your body be trying to tell you? Here are four signs that you could be stuck in ‘high alert’, and what you can do to help yourself switch off.

1. You’re exhausted but still can’t switch off

Whenever you get a rare moment of downtime, instead of feeling relaxed, you find yourself lying awake, scrolling through your phone or replaying everything that happened that day. You might be desperate for rest yet still feel like you can’t quite switch off.

According to self-development coach Georgia Devon-Shelley, this could be linked to spending much of the day in a heightened state of stress.

“In motherhood, we're in fight or flight quite a lot — that's quite normal at first because of the hormonal shifts and because in that early stage it's our primal role to want to keep our babies safe,” she says.

What might be happening?

Your body is designed to respond to situations it sees as stressful or demanding. But when you’re constantly dealing with a crying baby, interrupted sleep, a never-ending to-do list or the feeling that someone always needs you, it can be difficult to come back down from that heightened state.

“Mums need ways we can soothe our nervous system to learn how to tell ourselves that we don't need to be on high alert right now and we can switch off,” Georgia says.

What can you try?

Young woman laying in bed and using smart phone.

Georgia recommends finding small ways to help your body come out of that high-alert state. One of her suggestions is meditation, which she uses with pop star clients to help them come down from the thrill of live performances.

“Meditations help get you into a state where you can focus on your breath and start to feel calm,” Georgia says.

“They're really powerful for when you've put your baby down at night, when your adrenaline can be high.”

Even a few minutes of focusing on your breath, rather than everything you need to do tomorrow, could be a useful way to give yourself a moment to pause.

2. Small things suddenly feel completely overwhelming

You know the moment: the kids are being noisy, you’ve barely slept, and then something tiny, knocking over your glass of water, another email from school or something on the to-do list you’ve forgotten to do, suddenly feels like the final straw.

It’s not necessarily that the thing itself is a big deal. It’s that you’re already dealing with so much, and there doesn’t seem to be much room left for anything else.

Sometimes mothers can really run themselves down, and be completely disconnected from their needs.

Georgia Devon-Shelley

Georgia says this kind of everyday overwhelm deserves more attention, even when there’s nothing obviously wrong.

“There's some support if you're suffering from specific mental disorders, like postpartum depression. But there's no real care or interest in mothers having to just cope with general overwhelm and the day-to-day of motherhood, combined with extreme sleep deprivation and extreme hormonal shifts,” she says.

What might be happening?

Motherhood doesn’t suddenly become easy once you’ve had your six-week check-up. There are still sleep regressions, returning to work, nursery drop-offs and all the other changes that come with raising a child.

“After those six weeks, you're made to feel like you've graduated this postpartum period, and you have kind of have to get on with it now,” Georgia says. “But actually, there are lots of milestones after that point that are actually really challenging for mothers.”

And when you’re constantly dealing with new demands, it can be easy to put your own needs to one side.

“Sometimes mothers can really run themselves down, and be completely disconnected from their needs,” she adds.

Frustrated mother rubbing her temples

What can you try?

Breathing exercises. Georgia says that when parenthood feels particularly intense, focusing on your breath can be a simple way to help yourself feel calmer.

We can't control much in motherhood, but we can always control our breath.

Georgia Devon-Shelley

“When it comes to regulating your nervous system, breath is your best friend,” Georgia says.

“For example, in the night when your baby is keeping you up, regulating your breath can be really powerful to take you out of the limbic state, when everything seems a little bit scarier, a little bit more intense,” she says.

3. You feel tense even when nothing is actually wrong

Even when you’re doing something supposedly relaxing, like watching TV, your shoulders are still tense, your jaw is clenched and you can’t quite settle.

Even when nothing is happening and you’re telling yourself to chill, your body can feel like it’s still waiting for the next thing.

What might be happening?

Georgia says that when we’re dealing with the demands of parenthood, it can be difficult to switch off from the physical effects of stress.

“There's a school of thought that says emotions stay in the body, and somatic release is all about releasing those and helping you feel more energised,” she says.

Somatic release exercises are slow movements, combined with deep breathing, that can help you get out of your head and into your body.

What can you try?

Georgia suggests trying small movements to help release some of the tension you’re holding.

Some examples include shaking your hands or jumping, but you don’t need to do anything particularly dramatic.

“I have an exercise where you squeeze the bar of the pram on a walk for 10 seconds and then release, almost like a stress ball,” she says.

It’s a simple way to give yourself a moment to pause and focus on how your body feels.

Mother helping children with breakfast in the kitchen.

4. You keep putting everyone else’s needs before yours

You know you need a break, but there’s always something else to do. The kids need feeding, the washing needs doing, someone needs picking up and somehow your own needs keep getting pushed to the bottom of the list.

Over time, you might find yourself becoming so focused on looking after everyone else that you barely notice how you’re feeling. Or it just feels easier to keep going and never stop and think about yourself in case you fall apart.

What might be happening?

Georgia says that finding things hard doesn’t mean you’re failing as a parent.

“There’s this focus on motherhood being our intuition or our instinct. But the day to day is so new – it’s almost like we’ve been dropped into a completely new life and expected just to get on with it,” she says.

“So, it’s normal that it’s hard.”

What can you try?

Give yourself a pep talk. Georgia says that sometimes what parents need most is a little reassurance, not another list of things they should be doing.

“There’s a lot of toxic positivity around motherhood and pressure for mothers to be perfect,” she says. “Sometimes you just want somebody to say, yes, it is really difficult, and I see you and I hear you.”

Her advice is to find ways to give yourself that same kind of validation, whether that’s through a supportive friend, a voice note or a short pep talk.

You don’t have to be doing everything perfectly to be doing a good job.

You don’t have to get parenthood “right”

“Firstly, know that finding things hard doesn't mean that you're failing in any way,” Georgia says.

Plus, she adds, this doesn’t change if you’ve already had a baby before.

“Even if it's not your first baby, you are experiencing this particular baby for the first time because every baby is different,” she says.

Motherhood isn’t something you pass or succeed. It’s how you evolve to create the life that you want to live.

Georgia Devon-Shelley

There’s also a lot of emphasis on doing things perfectly to give your baby the best start in life, and although this is a great goal to have, we often forget that parenthood has to work for the parents, too.

“Motherhood isn’t something you pass or succeed. It’s how you evolve to create the life that you want to live,” Georgia says.

This will involve surrendering some control, she says: “We're all programmed for convenience. We’ve spent the last decade using things like Uber and food delivery, but motherhood is something where we really have to surrender all of our control that we've all been used to having.”

Remember your needs matter, too. Having coping mechanisms and techniques to look after your own health and wellbeing is one of her biggest tips.

“The challenges of motherhood change as your child gets older, but they don't necessarily weaken. They just evolve into new things,” she says. “But the basics of breath, meditation, and stress relief can serve us throughout that whole period — probably into teenagerhood, who knows?”

About our expert: Georgia Devon-Shelley

Georgia Devon-Shelley is a self-development coach and founder of Mother.fm, a neuroscience-grounded postnatal audio platform. It provides 70 professionally recorded audios and launches as a dedicated app in October 2026, with clinically approved postnatal timelines and partner features built in. Before motherhood, Devon-Shelley spent over ten years in the UK music industry, including roles at Atlantic Records, Warner Records and Sony Music, and founded her own media training and stage coaching agency, preparing female artists for the highest-pressure moments of their careers. The affirmation and self-talk protocols she developed there, methods also used by elite athletes, are the direct foundation of Mother.fm.

Authors

Serafina Kenny journalist headshot

Serafina KennyDigital Journalist

Serafina Kenny is a Digital Journalist at MadeForMums. She writes news and features and has expertise in health, nutrition, relationships, and history. She has previously written for Business Insider, Women's Health, Stylist, Men's Health US, The i Paper, Dazed, and more. You can contact her with tips and story ideas (or compliments!) at serafina.kenny@immediate.co.uk.