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Why watching Olympic athletes lose could be the best lesson for your child

Why watching Olympic athletes lose could be the best lesson for your child

From dramatic crashes to medal hopes ending in seconds, the Winter Olympics offers children a powerful lesson in resilience, friendship and how to recover when everything goes wrong.

Britain's Lilah Fear and Britain's Lewis Gibson compete in the figure skating ice dance-free dance final during the Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympic Games at Milano Ice Skating Arena in Milan on February 11, 2026.

Hollie Bond

Published: February 16, 2026 at 7:24 PM

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When Lilah Fear and Lewis Gibson stepped onto the ice, they carried four years of training for this moment on their shoulders. Every lift, every edge, every spin had been rehearsed countless times. But at the Winter Olympics, preparation is no guarantee of perfection. A single slip, a mistimed turn or a loss of balance can end a medal dream in seconds.

The Winter Games, perhaps more than any other global sporting event, are built on risk. Skiers hurtle down mountains at terrifying speeds. Snowboarders flip high above solid half pipes. Figure skaters perform intricate routines balanced on blades barely millimetres wide. Spectacular crashes are part of the spectacle. Fans will never forget Lindsey Vonn crashing out of medal contention after so much determination and preparation, the shock of seeing greatness undone in an instant.

For many Olympic athletes, the heartbreak is public and immediate. Years of sacrifice can dissolve before millions of viewers. Some competitors crumble under the weight of that disappointment. Others take a breath, reset and carry on with composure.

Watching those moments alongside your child this Winter Olympics 2026 can become something far more valuable than sporting entertainment. It can be a live masterclass in how to respond when things don’t go to plan. If you're struggling with a child who seems constantly down on themselves or struggles to cope when things don't go to plan, switch on the TV and let the likes of Lilah, Lewis and Lindsey help teach this tricky parenting lesson alongside you.

Why watching failure is so important for kids

“When children see athletes like Fear and Gibson make an early mistake and keep their heads in their routine, they are seeing resilience in action," says Suzana De Pina, Clinical Exercise Physiologist. "In performance settings, error is the enemy. In practice, we may correct our errors instantly, but under pressure, mistakes represent mortal threats."

As many parents will know, many children really struggle with regulating their emotions, and in a world of instant gratification and digital fixes, it can be harder for them to see real life examples of disappointment and resilience.

teenage boy scrolling social media on smartphone at home close up

Getty

"Part of this is because many kids today have a much harder time dealing with failure. They are constantly surrounded by filtered highlight reels. These beliefs can drive perfectionism and heighten fear of criticism. Watching elite athletes respond to disappointment with composure, you learn that mistakes are information, not identity.

Young athletes with lofty goals often become obsessed with the podium rather than the daily habits, recovery, teamwork and character.”

For children used to curated social media success, seeing an Olympic athlete visibly make a mistake — and then continue head held high — challenges the belief that success must be flawless. It reframes failure as part of performance, not the end of it.

Lesson 1: Resilience isn’t about not falling — it’s about how you stand up

These public moments offer something children rarely experience safely: exposure to disappointment handled well.

“In clinic I see many young people who believe failure is to be avoided at all costs and subsequently miss out on the life lesson that mistakes are a natural part of how competence is actually built," says Dr. Daniel Glazer, Clinical Psychologist and Co-Founder of US Therapy Rooms. "Children are exquisitely sensitive to evaluation, and modern environments increase the sense of being watched and judged."

Today's children are photographed and filmed doing... everything! Imagine how it feels to live your life on camera with every little mistake you make being permanently captured. No wonder many kids feel like failure just isn't an option.

Mother Photographing Her Daughter's Rhythmic Gymnastics Performance.

"When mistakes are public and feel so exposing, the brain’s threat system reacts as if our whole status is at risk. What protects against this is not shielding children from the experience but rather showing them how it is best handled. As adults if we can respond to disappointment with calm specificity and a measured tone, we teach the nervous system a valuable lesson: yes this feeling is intense but it is also tolerable. This is the value of a role model."

While parents can put down the devices, it's not feasible to stop children performing and taking part in sports out in public, and so teaching children how to respond to mistakes is the smartest solution.

"When I watch athletes like Fear and Gibson perform after an early mistake, what I notice is the regulation. You can see the mental reset happen. Their physiology will be in a stress state, their attention pulled toward the slip, yet they return immediately to the task at hand and to each other. For a child watching this it is a live demonstration of emotional control under pressure. It shows that distress and performance can co-exist. This is a really useful lesson because it teaches us how to recover ourselves despite the urge to shut down or give up when something goes wrong.”

And while there's no denying that watching Matt Weston take to the podium twice makes for thrilling TV, the ability of athletes to reset — to carry on despite a mistake — may be more powerful for children to witness than a gold medal performance.

Lesson 2: The power of friendship and teamwork

group of young girls in a sport team huddling before match starts

Ice dance is not an individual sport. Fear and Gibson skate as one unit. When something goes wrong, they recover together. Parents can really lean into this team dynamic when talking to children who may be considering leaving a team sport or activity they're finding hard work or have recently experienced failure in.

“When your child says “I’m quitting,” recognize that they’re frustrated — and reconnect them to the vision that motivated them in the first place," says De Pina. "And then propose some tiny next step. If they say, “I embarrassed myself,” remind them that in order to grow, we have to be seen trying. Reinforcing the sense that everyone is in it together may not only reduce their culpability but also turn the incident into a learning moment.”

Quitting often seems the only option for children when they've experienced embarrassment or a setback in something they previously loved or excelled at. But allowing them to start hobbies and quit at the first sign of adversity isn't going to make them happy or a resilient adult.

young footballer lying on ground upset with how the game has gone

“It's not unusual for a child to be overheard making harsh statements about themselves after some sort of setback." says Dr. Glazer. "This is because young minds are still learning how to interpret mistakes and often default to all-or-nothing thinking, where one outcome feels like a verdict on who they are rather than a single moment in time.

"Try to learn to treat these words as signals rather than irreversible beliefs. The goal is to switch them from global self-judgment to specific reflection. This move alone changes outcomes because identity statements tend to shut effort down, while situational statements keep problem solving active. Children who learn that a performance can go badly while they themselves remain capable develop more persistence, especially in competitive settings.”

When children see two athletes support each other through disappointment, they learn something essential: failure shared is lighter than failure carried alone.

What to say when your child feels they have failed

Public heartbreak can echo into playgrounds and classrooms. The language adults use in these moments shapes how children internalise setbacks.

Dr. Glazer suggests some ready-to-gp responses parents may find helpful in the moment...

When a child says "I’m quitting": "I understand it feels really bad right now. Let's not make decisions while you feel like this. We will talk again when you feel calmer."
When a child says "I embarrassed myself": "That was an uncomfortable moment, but just because you feel embarrassed doesn’t mean you are embarrassing. It just means you really care, and that’s a really strong quality to have."
When a child says "Everyone saw": "Some people saw a mistake but they also saw you pick yourself up and get on with it. That takes real strength, and you set a really good example to everyone watching."
When a child says "I let the team down": "You really care about the team and that is why it hurts so much, but being part of a team also means handling situations together. What you do next is what counts and also serves as a valuable lesson for others when they face a tough moment of their own.”

These responses shift the focus from shame to growth, from identity to behaviour.

Lesson 3: Failure doesn’t erase years of hard work

Ultimately, the Olympics can only teach resilience if children feel safe enough to practise it in their own lives.

Lindsey Vonn crashes during the Women's Downhill on day two of the Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics. (Screengrab by IOC via Getty Images)

"One of the most important lessons children can learn is how to meet disappointment with courage rather than fear," says Tom Carter, Head of St Christopher's The Hall School in Kent.

"Watching athletes experience heartbreak in public offers children a rare and valuable window into the truth of excellence: that behind every achievement lies vulnerability, perseverance and the willingness to try again. In a world that often celebrates perfection, these moments remind children that growth is shaped far more by resilience than by results."

For a child, four years might feel like a lifetime away and the idea that an athlete has to wait that long to try again can be hard to compute. However, if you can, start to follow a particular athlete's journey with your child and show them how they've progressed after that one Olympic failure and gone on to do other great things. This will highlight that there's never just one version of success or one dream.

The role parents play in helping children learn to fail

These lessons can only be learned when children have the space to do so. This is where parents, teachers and caregivers have a vital role to play. It's one thing watching Olympians demonstrate resilience on TV, and quite another for a child to have the opportunity to try it out for themselves. One thing you can be sure all those athletes had as kids... a supportive network of adults who helped them feel safe to fail.

When children feel psychologically safe to fail, they become brave enough to take risks, creative enough to innovate and resilient enough to keep going when things are hard.

Tom Carter, Head of St Christopher's The Hall School

'The culture we create for children matters deeply," says Tom Carter. "Schools and families must be places where effort is honoured, mistakes are normalised and reflection is encouraged. When children feel psychologically safe to fail, they become brave enough to take risks, creative enough to innovate and resilient enough to keep going when things are hard. Without that safety, ambition can quickly turn into anxiety.

Father with coffee talking to son on front porch

"When a child says, “I’m quitting,” they are usually expressing being overwhelmed, not defeat. Our role is to pause the moment, acknowledge the feeling and help them see the bigger story of their progress. If they feel embarrassed or believe they have let others down, we gently shift the narrative from judgement to learning, from shame to belonging. Teams, classrooms and communities should teach children that worth is never defined by a single performance, but by character, kindness and persistence."

And the most powerful way to make children feel safe to fail? By failing yourself and dealing with it in a resilient and measured way. Telling a child that you, their main role model in life, made a mistake and that the world didn't end is a powerful tool – and one we can 100% get onboard with!

"Ultimately, resilience is not something we tell children to have, it is something we build through the environments we design around them. When adults model compassion, perspective and quiet confidence in the face of setbacks, children learn that failure is not the opposite of success, but an essential part of becoming who they are meant to be.'

The lesson children will remember

Years from now, most children will not remember the final scores from Milano Cortina 2026. They will not remember the exact technical elements that an ice skater or snowboarder "failed" on.

However, if you watch with them and talk them through what they're seeing, they may remember something far more important: that they saw an athlete fall, take a breath, reach for their partner or equipment — and continue. There were probably lots of tears behind the scenes and many regrets, but in that moment in the face of adversity, true Olympians held their heads high and won gold in the resilience stakes.

The Milano Cortina Winter Olympics 2026 is on until 22nd February 2026 on BBC1 and BBC2 from 9am to 10pm every day.

Authors

journalist and two young kids sat on a bench in France for a review of Eurocamp

Hollie BondSenior Digital Journalist

Hollie is Senior Digital Journalist at MadeForMums. She writes articles about pregnancy, parenting, child health and getting pregnant. She has written for a number of national lifestyle magazines and websites over the past 12 years including Family History Monthly, You and Your Wedding and Muddy Stilettos. She has two children aged 5 and 8 and hasn't slept since 2017!