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Relationship expert reveals 5 signs you're falling out of love, even if you still love your partner

Relationship expert reveals 5 signs you're falling out of love, even if you still love your partner

Has your relationship lost its spark, or is it something deeper? An expert reveals 5 signs that your feelings may have changed.

Dobrila Vignjevic/Getty Images

Ruairidh Pritchard

Published: September 26, 2026 at 8:24 AM

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You still love your partner. You care about their happiness, enjoy their company and can't imagine hurting them. But somewhere between the school runs, endless laundry and conversations about who's sorting dinner, you might have started wondering whether you're actually still in love.

It's a difficult feeling to acknowledge, particularly when you've built a life together, have children or simply can't pinpoint anything that's gone wrong. After all, falling out of love doesn't always involve a dramatic argument or betrayal. Sometimes, the romantic connection quietly fades while everything else carries on as normal.

But how can you tell the difference between a normal relationship lull and a more permanent change in your feelings? Steven Buchwald, MD, of Manhattan Mental Health Counseling, shares 5 signs worth paying attention to, and explains why they don't necessarily mean your relationship is over.

1. Your relationship feels more like a friendship

You still laugh together, share inside jokes and enjoy a cuddle on the sofa. But kissing feels more like a habitual goodbye than something you genuinely want to do, and romantic gestures can feel awkward or forced.

Before you panic, remember that the butterflies of a new relationship aren't supposed to last forever.

Buchwald explains that the important distinction is whether those initial feelings have developed into a deeper romantic connection or disappeared altogether.

And a lack of sex isn't automatically a warning sign. What matters is how you feel about intimacy and whether you still want that closeness with your partner.

Signs to look out for:

Romantic affection feels like another task on your to-do list.
You regularly avoid opportunities for intimacy.
You don't particularly miss physical closeness when it isn't happening.

2. You only talk about the children and household admin

When was the last time you and your partner had a proper conversation that didn't involve childcare, dinner plans or whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher?

It's completely normal for conversations to become more practical when you're juggling family life. But if you've stopped taking an interest in each other's thoughts, feelings and experiences altogether, it could indicate a deeper disconnect.

Romantic intimacy is fuelled by continuing to encounter your partner as a person, not an everyday fixture

Steven Buchwald, MD

Signs to look out for:

Your conversations revolve entirely around practical arrangements.
You tell friends or family important news before telling your partner.
You've stopped asking about each other's feelings or interests.

3. Imagining life without them makes you feel relieved

Perhaps you've imagined living alone, making decisions independently or simply having more time to yourself.

Feeling sad about potentially losing your shared life while simultaneously experiencing relief can be confusing. But before interpreting those feelings as evidence that you're no longer in love, consider exactly what you're imagining escaping.

Is it your partner, or is it the unequal household responsibilities, financial pressures, constant exhaustion or lack of personal space?

Buchwald suggests imagining what your relationship would look like if those practical problems disappeared. Would you feel excited about reconnecting, or would you still prefer to separate?

Signs to look out for:

You regularly imagine separating rather than only thinking about it after arguments.
Time away from your partner consistently feels like freedom.
Even imagining your everyday pressures disappearing doesn't make you want to reconnect.

4. Date nights feel like another chore

You've arranged childcare, booked a restaurant and finally found time for a date night. Except, rather than feeling excited, you're secretly hoping the babysitter cancels.

Of course, one disappointing evening doesn't mean your relationship is in trouble. When you're exhausted from parenting and everyday responsibilities, even enjoyable plans can feel like hard work.

Buchwald recommends looking at the bigger picture. When you do spend meaningful time together, does it leave you wanting more, or are you simply relieved when it's over?

Signs to look out for:

You dread spending dedicated time together.
You feel relieved when romantic plans are cancelled.
You arrange dates primarily because you're worried about upsetting your partner.

5. You're staying because you feel guilty about leaving

Perhaps your partner is a genuinely lovely person. They're a brilliant parent, you have years of shared memories and the thought of breaking up your family feels unbearable.

These are understandable considerations, particularly when children, housing and finances are involved. But there's an important difference between wanting to maintain your relationship and feeling obligated to stay.

Concern for your partner is evidence of empathy, but guilt cannot manufacture romantic love

Steven Buchwald, MD

Signs to look out for:

Your main reason for staying is that you don't want to hurt your partner.
You focus more on the years you've invested than the future you want together.
You secretly wish your partner would make the decision to separate.

Can you fall back in love with your partner?

The reassuring news is that romantic disconnection doesn't automatically mean your relationship is over.

Stress, exhaustion, resentment and neglected intimacy can all affect how connected you feel. If affection, mutual respect and a willingness to work on the relationship remain, rebuilding that connection may be possible.

Rather than making a decision based on one difficult week or a temporary lack of desire, Buchwald recommends examining your feelings over time.

Ask yourself whether you genuinely want to reconnect, whether you're interested in getting to know your partner again and whether you're both willing to address the issues that have created distance.

Remember, particularly during demanding stages of family life, that wanting a break from your responsibilities isn't necessarily the same as wanting to leave your relationship.

An honest conversation, time to reconnect and professional relationship support may help you understand what you're feeling before making any major decisions.

About our expert

Steven Buchwald, MD, is a medical doctor at Manhattan Mental Health Counseling. He provides expert commentary on relationships, emotional intimacy and the challenges of maintaining romantic connections. For this article, he shares his insights into recognising the signs of falling out of love and whether couples can rebuild their relationship.

Authors

Ruairidh PritchardDigital Growth Lead

Ruairidh is the Digital Lead on MadeForMums. He works with a team of fantastically talented content creators and subject-matter experts on MadeForMums.