The not-so-empty nest: A psychologist explains how to make it work when adult kids move home

With record numbers of adult children living at home in 2026, a psychologist explains how families can set boundaries, avoid conflict and build a healthier parent-adult child relationship.

Mother and father talking with daughter sitting on kitchen counter at home

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Published: May 18, 2026 at 5:02 PM

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For many parents, becoming an “empty nester” once felt like an inevitable stage of family life. But in 2026, that milestone is arriving much later, or not at all.

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With soaring house prices, high rental costs, ongoing cost of living pressures and more young people entering higher education with significant student debt, many adult children are staying in the family home well into their 20s and 30s. Others move back in after university or following a relationship breakdown, creating a growing number of multigenerational households across the UK.

The shift is reflected in recent figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS), which found that 35% of young men aged 20 to 35 were living with their parents in 2025, compared with 22% of young women. The number has risen steadily since 2000, with researchers pointing to rising housing and rental costs as key factors behind the trend.

But while much has been written about the plight of these adult kids, less attention is paid to the parents adapting to this new reality. Living with grown-up children can bring emotional, financial and practical pressures, especially when family roles and boundaries begin to shift.

MadeForMums spoke to Dr. Linda Blair, a clinical psychologist accredited by the British Psychological Society, about the psychology behind the parent-adult child cohabitation, and she offers advice on how families can navigate this set up in a healthy, communicative and respectful way.

The parent-child relationship evolves as kids grow up — but moving home can change it in a different way

“When you’re moving towards an adult-adult dynamic as they get older, it can be complicated,” Linda says. "As parents, our ultimate job is to become redundant, which doesn't sound very much fun, but that is what the goal is — to no longer be needed."

It can be easier for parents and their adult children to make the transition from a parent-child dynamic to an adult-adult dynamic when they live together, Linda says, because you naturally make little changes step by step.

You have to keep in mind they're not a child. They're an adult in your home that you know very well.

Dr Linda Blair

On the other hand, if an adult child only comes back occasionally, “it can be quite scratchy between parents and kids,” she says, because the family is more likely to fall back into old dynamics.

Either way, “you have to keep in mind they're not a child. They're an adult in your home that you know very well,” she says.

And this relationship might be very different from your relationship with your own parents. It was significantly easier for Gen X to move out the family home and get on the housing ladder as young adults. When many Gen Xers were first time buyers, houses cost roughly 3 - 4 times the average annual salary compared to today where they cost 8 - 9 times average salaries.

“This is probably not how it was with your parents or grandparents or anybody as far back as you can go unless you have a family business,” Linda says. “It is so hard for young people nowadays but it is also hard for parents.”

How to emotionally prepare for an adult child moving back in

adult woman carrying moving boxes back into her parents house as they watch from sofa

“Parents should be really, really kind to themselves because this is so different,” Linda says, referring to the fact that moving back in with parents wasn’t as common among older generations. “We don't have role models to tell us exactly how we should behave. So, you have to kind of feel your way around and to forgive yourself when you don't get it right.”

Linda also recommends explicitly saying how you’re feeling to a child if you notice their independence. “It’s a compliment,” she says. “That's saying, look, I see you as a whole independent person – it’s amazing!”

Turning to friends, siblings, or other people in your community who are in a similar situation can also help, she says. They will have navigated similar emotions and can be a helpful ear or sounding board to chat out your feelings and concerns.

“You might talk to them about how they're negotiating things. While you won't necessarily want to copy their actions, you might get some tips from them,” Linda says.

It will never be a roommate relationship — but it can help to treat it more formally

Obviously, you’d struggle to see a child living at home as strictly a roommate, you raised them after all! Plus, with roommates, Linda says, “you assume you each have roughly the same amount of experience in life. But with a parent and child, the child has to respect the parent's greater experience, and the parent has to respect the child's need to gain more knowledge by experimentation and pushing the different angles of a problem.”

But it can be helpful to formalise aspects of the relationship when living together.

Charging your children rent is a controversial topic, but Linda thinks it’s important to do so.

“It doesn't matter how much it is. What matters is that it is a more formal arrangement that makes it a little bit easier not to slip into that child-parent thing,” she says.

Her own daughter paid her £5 a month when she moved home, Linda says, which “might sound silly, but it helps a lot.” Even that small amount can solidify the idea that the child has to maintain respect for someone else’s home while the parent has to respect them as an independent adult.

And just like you might renew a renting contract periodically, Linda says you should check in with the living situation regularly, too. You can do a trial period with new boundaries or rules and then gather to make sure they are all still working for everyone.

These check ins “have to be regular and have to be actually formal — nobody's phone should be on and you should be talking about the same things at the same time, like a meeting you would do if you were renting,” she says.

Linda’s tips for navigating a relationship with an adult child

Senior woman and adult daughter having coffee on front porch of rural farm home

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The first thing you need to do, Linda says, is set ground rules. You can set these because it’s your house, but they should be open to negotiation. For example, you might say no parties or noise after midnight, but this might not be the case on Saturday evenings.

If you have a partner, this is something to discuss with them, such as spaces you want to keep for yourself, or ways you all want to interact. This is especially the case if your partner isn't your child's other parent and they haven’t lived together before.

Write these ground rules down, but be open to asking questions to your child so you can discuss and negotiate them.

Aside from the ground rules, you’ll also need to figure out other expectations around how you will live together, and it’s best to talk about everything.

“Maybe you'll eat all meals together, maybe you'll eat a few together, maybe none at all. That's something that needs to be clarified,” Linda says. “It’s based on what suits you and your child."

There are no rights and wrongs, but what is right is that you're clear about it with each other.

Dr. Linda Blair

These clear boundaries help to solidify the idea that the child is home temporarily and is no longer dependent on you as the parents.

“Adult children should have their own comings and goings and their own key,” Linda says. They should not have to check in with you about their time, aside from what you decide in the ground rules.

“They also should (as much as possible) have their own space. It’s pretty easy for them to have a room of their own. If you can make their own bathroom or entrance work, that really does help, too,” Linda says.

Have a strategy for when disagreements arise

Linda has a tip for when disagreements inevitably happen: “Call a 30-minute break, and have everybody leave the place where you are arguing. Let the adrenaline and cortisol that rise when you’re arguing settle down and preferably take a walk or do something aerobic before you come back together,” she says.

This might be 20 minutes later, or it might be the next day, but you can then come back to the disagreement with a clearer head.

“Carry on with your conversation until you reach a compromise. Nobody's right or wrong and nobody's going to win, so you have to find a compromise,” Linda says.

Senior parents showing frustration while their adult daughter uses a cell phone at home.

The best strategy (in any disagreement in any relationship, Linda says) is to ask each other questions.

“‘I can see you look kind of annoyed. Am I being too strict here?’ Or the child might say, ‘I can see you’re looking very irritated. Am I trying to push the envelope too much? Can you explain why you're looking really tense?’ When you're not sure that everybody's comfortable, ask questions,” she says.

It might be that as the parent, you are the one who calls for the break, and ultimately you may get the final say because it is your house — but now that your child is an adult and has the ability to be logical, you have to allow them their say.

“The parent is no longer fully in control, even though it's their house,” Linda says. “There’s got to be respect on both sides because nobody will be happy otherwise.”

Appreciate the situation as much as you can

Whereas a few decades ago, it was seen as a step backwards for a child to move back home, it is increasingly normal and often actually necessary for today’s young people.

So, Linda says, if parents feel any shame around their children not following the traditional linear path of finishing school and moving out for good, they should try to remember the positives about the situation and reframe their thoughts about how young adulthood ‘should’ look in this current economic climate.

Parents should be proud in knowing they helped their child get their first property or get their first job or finish their education.

Dr. Linda Blair

“Things are so hard for young people nowadays. I know both as a parent and as a therapist, you should not be ashamed of them. You should be proud that they would ask you for help,” she says.

“Parents should be proud in knowing they helped their child get their first property or get their first job or finish their education. Or they can feel pride in being part of their child's life for even longer than they probably expected at birth — that's really a wonderful feeling.”

On the child’s part, it can be helpful for them to remember what a sacrifice their parents are making to “share their empty nest,” Linda says.

“Most people are glad to have space again and try some different things once their children move out, and so parents are prolonging that for the sake of their child's long-term independence. Most kids recognise that, and have increased respect or gratitude in knowing how much their parents care for them.”

The setup can also make parents and children’s bonds stronger, Linda says.

How long is too long for a child to live at home?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of when it is time for an adult child to move out — this will vary hugely from family to family.

“Before the move-in happens, you can sit down and set some goals” for when a child should move out, Linda says. For example, a child might want to have £10,000 saved or secure a job that offers redundancy pay.

Otherwise, “if it's beginning to cause worry for the parents that it's going on too long, or causing resentment, or they just can't afford it, then I think that it is probably time” to either move out or look at getting some third-party help, she says. Especially “if either party gets to the point where they're so unhappy that they really can't get on with the activities of daily living without worrying all the time, for more than, say, three or four weeks without relent.”

A family therapist can be useful here, or just someone objective to whom you can say things you wouldn’t feel as safe saying without a third party there. Sometimes situations can be worked out instead of resulting in your child moving out.

“It may be that the parent is misjudging that it's time, or that they haven't thought about ways that they could prolong it a little bit. It may be that the child hasn't thought how they could perhaps do a halfway house like move in with a bunch of friends so that their outgoings are less,” Linda says.

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Having an adult child move back home can feel like unfamiliar territory for everyone involved, bringing new pressures, shifting boundaries and creating moments of tension. But with honest communication, mutual respect and clear expectations, it can also become an opportunity for families to strengthen their relationships, support young adults through an increasingly difficult financial landscape and for you to all bond in a new way, as adults.

Authors

Serafina Kenny journalist headshot

Serafina KennyDigital Journalist

Serafina Kenny is a Digital Journalist at MadeForMums. She writes news and features and has expertise in health, nutrition, relationships, and history. She has previously written for Business Insider, Women's Health, Stylist, Men's Health US, The i Paper, Dazed, and more. You can contact her with tips and story ideas (or compliments!) at serafina.kenny@immediate.co.uk.

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