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"I’m a fertility doctor — these are the fertility myths I wish couples ignored"

"I’m a fertility doctor — these are the fertility myths I wish couples ignored"

From “just relax” to “you’re still young”, a fertility expert reveals the fertility advice that’s doing more harm than good — and the facts every hopeful parent needs to know.

positive pregnancy test surrounded by post it notes with question marks on them

Ruairidh Pritchard

Published: September 28, 2026 at 12:21 PM

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For couples trying to conceive, the biggest obstacle isn’t always medical. Sometimes it’s the advice they’ve heard for years — from friends, family, social media, or even healthcare professionals.

From the idea that stress is “causing” infertility to the belief that having one baby guarantees another, fertility myths are still widely believed in spite of plenty of evidence to the contrary. And according to Dr Preetham Rao, Consultant in Reproductive Medicine at CREATE Fertility, some of those misconceptions can delay diagnoses, increase anxiety, and stop people seeking support.

“Fertility myths persist because they offer simple explanations for complex problems,” she says. “But you deserve better than myths — you deserve evidence-based care, realistic expectations, and compassionate support throughout your fertility journey.”

Here, Dr Rao breaks down the most common fertility myths he hears — and the facts every couple should know instead.

Myth: “You’re young, so you have plenty of time”

Test stick on monthly calendar and vitamins on spiral notebook. Pregnancy planning concept.

Age matters when it comes to fertility — but Dr Rao says the reality is far more nuanced than the “fertility cliff” many people hear about online.

"Age is absolutely a factor in fertility, but the relationship isn't as straightforward as many believe.”

"Women are born with a limited egg supply that progressively declines with age. This results in a measurable decline in fertility that begins in the mid-20s and becomes progressively steeper in the mid-30s. Decline in egg number accelerates after the early 30s and becomes more rapid after age 37.

The idea that fertility ends at age 35 is based in part on outdated data that doesn't account for environmental factors.

Dr Rao

"However, contrary to the fertility cliff myth, there is no universal age that marks the end of fertility. Moreover, the idea that fertility ends at age 35 is based in part on outdated data that doesn't account for environmental factors like improved nutrition and lifestyle."

She says many people also place too much importance on fertility “scores” and ovarian reserve testing.

“A high-quality egg is critical for successful fertility. Egg and sperm quality is closely tied to genetics, which is more frequently adversely affected in women with increasing age than in men. Chromosomal abnormality increases 10 times after the age of 40 in women compared to a age younger than 25.”

“A common pitfall is over-dependence on ovarian reserve testing to predict natural fertility, as these measures better reflect egg quantity than quality.”

And while age can influence fertility, it’s not the whole picture.

"The reality is more nuanced. Age is certainly a contributor to fertility, but so are lifestyle factors like weight, medications, diet, and athletic training. Just because a woman is in her 20s doesn't mean she hasn't experienced problems with fertility. I've treated 22-year-olds with PCOS, endometriosis, or other conditions that significantly impact fertility, and 42-year-olds who conceived naturally."

Her advice? Don’t wait for a birthday milestone before getting checked out.

"Don't let age alone dictate your urgency around seeking help. If you have symptoms of underlying conditions, irregular periods or have been trying unsuccessfully for six months to a year, age shouldn't be a barrier to investigation."

Myth: “If you’ve had one baby, you’ll easily have another”

Many couples assume a previous pregnancy, and conceiving once without any problems means fertility, won’t be an issue the second time around. But Dr Rao says secondary infertility is far more common than people realise.

"Secondary infertility (difficulty conceiving after having had a previous pregnancy), affects millions of couples and is just as real as primary infertility.”

"Things change between pregnancies. You get older, your partner gets older, and new medical conditions can develop.

Endometriosis can progress, ovarian reserve naturally declines, and lifestyle factors can shift. The fact that you conceived before doesn't guarantee it will happen again."

She says this misconception can stop people seeking help early enough.

"I've seen too many people delay seeking help for secondary infertility because they assume their previous pregnancy proves they don't need assistance. This delay can be particularly costly when age-related decline is already a factor."

And emotionally, secondary infertility can be especially isolating.

"Secondary infertility can be emotionally devastating, often compounded by well-meaning comments about how 'lucky' you are to have one child already. Your desire to expand your family is valid, and you deserve the same level of investigation and support as anyone experiencing fertility challenges."

Myth: “It’s usually the woman’s fault”

Close up of couple sat in waiting room waiting for news from doctor

Despite huge advances in fertility science, Dr Rao says outdated assumptions still place most of the burden on women.

"Around one-third of infertility cases are caused by male reproductive issues, one-third by female reproductive issues, and one-third by both parties or by unknown factors."

"Yet somehow, in 2026, women are still bearing the emotional and practical burden of fertility investigations while male partners remain largely overlooked.”

She says male fertility testing should happen much earlier in the process.

"A semen analysis is simple, non-invasive, and should be one of the first tests done — not an afterthought. I've seen couples undergo months of invasive female fertility testing only to discover the issue was severe male factor infertility that could have been identified with a basic sperm test."

Lifestyle matters for men too, she adds.

"Male fertility is affected by many of the same lifestyle factors as female fertility — stress, smoking, excessive alcohol, obesity, and heat exposure can all impact sperm quality. Yet men are rarely given the same lifestyle advice or held to the same standards when it comes to optimizing fertility."

Myth: “Just relax, and it will happen”

According to Dr Rao, this is one of the most damaging myths couples hear and unfortunately one of the most prolific!

"This is perhaps the most harmful myth of all,” says Dr. Rao.

"Telling someone to 'just relax' implies that their infertility is somehow their fault — that they're too stressed, trying too hard, or thinking about it too much. This is not only factually wrong, but it's also emotionally damaging."

While severe stress can affect ovulation and libido, everyday stress is not the cause of infertility.

"Normal life stress doesn't cause infertility," she says. "If relaxation cured infertility, fertility clinics wouldn't exist. People conceive during wars, natural disasters, and the most stressful periods of human history."

She says this kind of advice can stop people getting medical support.

"The 'relaxation cure' myth prevents people from seeking appropriate medical help and can add guilt and self-blame to an already difficult situation. If you've been trying to conceive for the recommended timeframes, you need medical evaluation, not meditation apps."

The NHS recommends trying to conceive for a year before seeking medical help, or for 6 months if you're over 36.

Myth: “Certain positions or techniques improve your chances”

POSITIONS FEATURE HERO IMAGE FINAL HI RES

Artwork: Jessica Dance

From lying with your legs in the air to carefully timed rituals, fertility “hacks” are all over social media. But Dr Rao says most have no scientific basis.

"There is no scientific evidence to support the claim that certain sex positions improve chances of pregnancy. Sperm can reach the cervix regardless of sexual position, so couples should focus on regular, well-timed intercourse rather than specific positions."

She also says there’s no need for elaborate post-sex routines.

"Similarly, there's no need to lie with your legs elevated after intercourse, avoid certain foods, or follow elaborate post-coital rituals.”

"These myths create performance anxiety and turn what should be an intimate experience into a clinical procedure. Focus on timing intercourse around ovulation — that's what actually matters."

Myth: “Birth control ruins your fertility”

This fear continues to circulate widely online, but Dr Rao says the evidence simply doesn’t support it.

"There is no scientific evidence that the birth control pill negatively impacts fertility," says Dr Rao. "However, it can take time for the menstrual cycle to return to normal after coming off hormonal birth control. Therefore, some women may experience a brief delay in conception."

In some cases, hormonal contraception can even have protective effects.

"The pill can reduce the risk of ovarian and endometrial cancers and can help manage endometriosis symptoms."

She says confusion often happens because underlying fertility issues become noticeable after stopping the pill.

The pill didn't cause the problems; it was masking them.

Dr Rao

"The confusion often comes from the fact that underlying fertility issues — like PCOS or irregular ovulation — become apparent when you stop hormonal contraception. The pill didn't cause these problems; it was masking them."

"Birth control use, especially long-term use can cause a significant, temporary, and reversible reduction in egg reserve testing with a drop in both Anti-Müllerian Hormone (AMH) levels and Antral Follicle Count (AFC)."

Myth: “Lifestyle factors don’t really matter”

Daily habits can have a major impact on fertility, according to Dr Rao.

"This [myth] couldn't be further from the truth. Lifestyle factors such as smoking, recreational drug use, excessive alcohol consumption, obesity, and poor diet can adversely affect fertility in both men and women. Making healthy lifestyle choices can improve fertility outcomes."

She says smoking and alcohol can significantly affect both egg and sperm quality.

"Smoking reduces ovarian reserve, damages egg quality, and increases miscarriage risk. Excessive alcohol affects hormone production and sperm quality. Being significantly over- or underweight can disrupt ovulation. These aren't minor factors — they can be the primary cause of fertility problems."

The good news? Positive changes can improve the chances of conception.

"On the flip side, making positive lifestyle changes can improve the chances of conception and should be the foundation of any fertility plan. This includes maintaining a healthy weight, taking folic acid, limiting alcohol, stopping smoking, and managing stress effectively."

Myth: “If treatment doesn’t work quickly, it never will”

Artwork: Jessica Dance

Artwork: Jessica Dance Jessica Dance for MadeForMums

Dr Rao says many people underestimate how long fertility treatment can realistically take.

"Fertility treatment success is often a numbers game that requires patience and persistence.”

"Even with perfect timing and optimal conditions, the chance of conception within 1 yr of trying for healthy heterosexual couples is around 80%. Of those who do not conceive in the first year, about half will do so in the second year (cumulative pregnancy rate over 90%).”

And IVF success rates, she says, are often misunderstood.

"IVF success rates of 30-40% per cycle for women under 35 are actually excellent when you consider the complexity of the process."

"I've seen people abandon treatment after one failed cycle, when statistically they might have needed three or four attempts. This is why discussing realistic expectations and timeframes upfront is so important."

Myth: “Natural is always better”

For some people, there can still be stigma around fertility treatment. Dr Rao says that needs to change.

"There's nothing 'unnatural' about getting medical help to conceive.”

"We don't tell diabetics to avoid insulin because it's not 'natural,' or suggest people with broken bones should avoid surgery. Fertility treatment is medical care for a medical condition."

She says complementary therapies may support wellbeing — but they’re not a substitute for medical treatment when serious fertility issues are involved.

"Some natural approaches can be helpful — acupuncture may reduce stress, certain supplements have evidence behind them, and lifestyle changes are crucial. Effectiveness of complementary therapies for fertility problems has not been properly evaluated, and further research is needed before such interventions can be recommended.

"But when medical conditions like blocked tubes, severe endometriosis, or significant male factor infertility are present, 'natural' approaches alone won't address the underlying problem."

Trust evidence, not myths

Dr Rao says the most important thing couples can do is seek reliable, evidence-based advice.

"Base your decisions on facts, not myths.”

"Seek information from reputable medical sources, qualified healthcare providers, and evidence-based research. Be wary of social media influencers, miracle cure testimonials, and one-size-fits-all advice."

She also urges couples not to delay seeking support.

"Get investigated appropriately. If you're under 35 and have been trying for 12 months, or over 35 and trying for 6 months, you deserve proper fertility evaluation. Don't let myths about age, previous pregnancies, or needing to 'try harder' delay appropriate care."

Fertility challenges are medical conditions, not character flaws.

Dr Rao

And crucially, she says fertility should always be treated as a shared issue.

"Include both partners in the process from the start. Male fertility testing should be routine, not an afterthought, and both partners should optimise their health and lifestyle."

Her final message is one many couples may need to hear.

"Don't let guilt, shame, or misinformation prevent you from getting help. Fertility challenges are medical conditions, not character flaws, and effective treatments exist."

Authors

Ruairidh PritchardDigital Growth Lead

Ruairidh is the Digital Lead on MadeForMums. He works with a team of fantastically talented content creators and subject-matter experts on MadeForMums.